how to open yourself to your life’s purpose..

Just saw this on oprah.com

You know Oprah..if I had time to figure this out I would have done it already. who the hell has time to figure out your purpose in life when I am just getting used to the fact that it’s 1pm on monday..date, well can’t know everything..

I really know what my purpose in life is, it’s to be rich, fat and happy but you see other people are in my way of obtaining that goal. those people need to readjust THEIR life’s purpose to get out of my way, stop being aholes and let me obtain my goal. Really I shouldn’t be reading this article. I should just pass this along to every ahole that’s disturbed my purpose.

You can read through the article, it’s actually quite good but if your like me you want the cliff notes

1. Listen to your inner voice. (mine says what am I going to eat for lunch today, top priority numero uno)
2. Recognize crisis. (I do everytime I get my weekly insult, I mean paycheck)
3. Dwell in possibilities. (dwell is such a tricky word, it sounds like something I’d deal with when I’m homeless, dwelling)
4. Tune out the voice of the world. (you mean turn off my radio so I don’t hear Lady GaGa 24/7?)
5. Decide what kind of person you want to be. (we’ve already made that clear, rich, fat, happy)
6. Bring your heart to your work. (seriously? seriously. seriously! It’s with me wherever I go, this is just too simple.)
7. Trust transformation. (”transformers, more than meets the eye”
8. Have no regrets. (I don’t thank you. your lucky I remember half the things I’ve done in life by this time)
9. Take the first step. (why? where are we going?)
10. Be patient. (I am and I’ve been waiting for an answer since step 1)